The icy lump of loss sits in the pit of my stomach; a cold, hard reminder that you are no longer here.
I carry the burden of your loss, it touches everything I do and all that I feel.
Never again will you hold me, never again will I gaze into your eyes and fold myself into you. My rock. My centre. You are gone.
I say your name aloud and it dances before me, shimmering and dancing on the air until it fades away.
It fades away like a whisper.
An echo of a past love.
Our shared memories, our inside jokes, the unseen and undoubted bond between us are now felt only by me. I keep them safe within me. They exist only in my mind and heart.
I drag myself up and try to stumble through my life with only half a heart. A heart that can no longer leap as high and has touched the very depths of sorrow.
The light in your eyes, the exact curve of your lips, the lines on your face and the feel of your skin. I try to imprint them in my mind, to memorise them, to fight the forgetting as you fade away.