It’s Not His Fault, I Was Asking For It

He must love me, he says he does.

He will be kind, he promises so.

He’s not controlling, he just wants the best for me.

He’s taking care of me, it’s for my own good.

He says I complete him, I never knew I had that power.

He doesn’t pursue other girls, he’s just looking.

He is traditional, I’ll be so happy as a housewife.

I’m doing it wrong, he will show me a better way.

I don’t look my best, he will recommend a new style.

Brown hair doesn’t suit me, he thinks red would be better.

My friends are no good for me, he and I are a good team.

My family take me for granted, we don’t need them anyway.

I don’t need a car, he will take me anywhere I need to go.

I am irrational and unreasonable, it’s a good job he’s so patient.

I am suspicious and paranoid, how could I think that of him?

It’s not manipulation, he’s just trying to help me.

It’s not abuse, he’s just showing how I make him feel.

It’s my fault, I shouldn’t have made him angry.

He doesn’t like doing this, I’ve made him be the bad guy.

He will forgive me this time, but I must try harder.

It’s not his fault.

I was asking for it.

I made him do it.

I’m impossible to live with.

No one else would want me.

I am unlovable.

I am ugly.

I am stupid.

I am difficult.

I should be grateful to have him.

He didn’t mean to.

I made him do it.

 

 

 

 

Copyright © 2017 Jane Furey

4 thoughts on “It’s Not His Fault, I Was Asking For It

  1. Wow. I’m utterly speechless. This is so far my favorite poem from you. Words can’t describe what this poem makes you feel on the inside. At first it makes you smile… then it the smile slowly turns to a broken one with tears flowing out. That is how it makes me picture it.

    You just got a new fan. I’ll be back for updates 🙂

    Like

    1. Wow, thank you Anna!
      I wasn’t sure about posting it in case it was triggering but I’ve recently decided to share more poems about my personal experiences, in the hope that it will help others in similar situations.
      An abusive relationship is so insidious, you don’t realise you are there until you’re in too deep.

      Thank you so much for the lovely feedback!

      J x

      Like

    1. Thanks for your comment. I was trapped for nearly a decade but thankfully I am out the other side and well on the way to recovery.
      You can’t see it when you’re there, but hopefully this will resonate with someone and encourage them to make a move x

      Liked by 1 person

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